Just a Nightmare
by Jenn11
Summary: The Team's reactions after Hard Times. B/S J/E Romances.
1. Brennan's POV

A/N: All the standard disclaimers. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed my other stories. It's what encourages me to write more. I'm trying a slightly different format for this story. First seeing it from Brennan's Point of View then Shalimar's; please let me knew how you think it works out. The story takes place the night after Brennan and Jesse come home in Hard Time.  
  
Brennan POV  
  
I'm suddenly looking down at Shalimar's dead body. I know I'm the one who killed her , but no, that can't be right. I'd never hurt her. I'll kill whoever did this to her. But it was me. I feel my knees buckle as I fall down beside her body.  
  
"Shal! Shal! Nooooooo!"  
  
Someone is shaking me and a I hear her voice. But that's not possible. "Brennan! Bren! Wake! Up!"  
  
Wake up? Then this is a nightmare? Please let this be a nightmare. I close my eyes and try to focus on her voice. When I open them again she's sitting there on my bed, a worried look on her beautiful face and an anxious, almost scared look in her eyes. I can't help myself from reaching out and pulling her to me. I *have* to know that she is real and alive. That me killing her was really was just a nightmare.  
  
I feel her arms going around me and her hands start to gently rub my back. She's saying something. I don't pay attention to the words. They don't matter. She's alive to say them, that's what matters. It's a few minutes before she pulls away.  
  
"Brennan, what's wrong? What were you dreaming? About the fight? You said my name? Why?"  
  
I don't want to answer, but I know she won't leave 'til I do. I want to lie, but there's no way I can lie to her. I just can't. "Yeah. But it wasn't Jesse I was fighting. It was you. I. . .I killed you, Shal. I couldn't stop myself and I killed you."  
  
I fell her fingers on my skin as she reaches over and tips my chin up so I have to look her in the eyes. Normally something I love doing.  
  
"I'm OK. You didn't hurt me. It was a nightmare. After what they did to you. . . well, it's not surprising you'd have a few nightmares."  
  
She stands up and moves away from the bed. I can't blame her for not wanting to be near me, but that doesn't stop it hurting. I'm glad she's not looking at me so she won't see the pain. But she doesn't go out the door, doesn't leave me. I watch her go into my bathroom and hear the water run. A minute later she comes back and hands me the glass. I look down and take a drink to hide the guilt in my eyes. I should have known Shal wouldn't leave me like that. Her loyalty is one of the things I admire most in her. OK, this is SOOOO not the time to think about what I admire in her.  
  
I finally lean over and put the glass on the night stand. "Thanks."  
  
She smiles at me, as always it comes close to taking my breathe away.  
  
"You're welcome. Feel like talking now? It might help."  
  
"Well, I don't remember a lot of details about the fight, or the nightmare. Just that in the nightmare it was you in the cage with me, not Jesse. And there was not antidote and I killed you. It's a good thing you guys did come up with the antidote or I would have killed Jess for real. I still can't believe he's already forgiven me."  
  
"Jesse is very forgiving. And he knows that it was the drug, not you. So you two talked? You're OK?"  
  
I nod. "Yeah. We talked and things are OK. I don't think either of us will be wanting to spar against the other for a while, but. . . I know this has to be harder on him. You saw the fight. It was a massacre. He was trying his best not to hurt me, while I was trying my hardest to hurt him. He wasn't using his ability to phase, or he could have knocked me out with one punch. I was using my power to hurt him every chance I got. Plus, he remembers it. I don't really, mostly just the damage on him, done by me, that I saw after, and. . .impressions, feelings. And he told me that I said some things to him, I got the impression they were not good things. Did he tell you what I said?"  
  
"No. Sorry. I know it doesn't always seem like it, but in his own way Jess is almost as secretive about some things as you are. Give him some time."  
  
I notice that she is still sitting on the edge of the bed. A few feet away from me. One of the things I've enjoyed about our relationship is how comfortable we are with each other physically. There's almost no personal space needed between us. I wonder if this has changed that. If she is afraid of me. Beating around the bush has never been my style so . . . "Are *we* OK? I know you had to watch the fight, that had to be hard. Jesse's your oldest friend. Are you mad at me for hurting him? Are you scared of me now?"  
  
She moves closer and takes my hand. "We're fine. I trust you. I always have, always will. It wasn't easy watching the fight, no. I mean, Jess is like my brother and I hate to see him hurt. But. . . well, it was really hard to watch you be hurt. To know what those bastards had done to you, and to see what Jesse was doing to you. If it had been anyone else I'd probably have jumped in the ring, given you the antidote, then hit them myself for hurting you like that. Not that you couldn't take care of yourself, I know you can, but you weren't yourself right then. You were out of control and could have killed them, and even if it had been a criminal, not Jesse, you aren't a killer and would never have forgiven yourself if you'd killed them."  
  
All I can think to say is, "Thank you." At first I'm upset that she said Jess was her brother, and didn't say that about me. Then I consider that my feelings for her are not even remotely brotherly and so maybe it's a good thing. It also means Jesse isn't competition. Again, not the time to go there.  
  
She catches me off guard when leans in a gives me a gentle kiss on the lips. Before I can even respond she pulls back.  
  
"Why don't you try and get some sleep. You're still exhausted. I can see it in your eyes."  
  
I am tired, and looking over at the clock I see it's about 2:30 in the morning. "Yeah. Some sleep sounds good. Thanks for waking me up from that nightmare. Sorry I woke you up." I try to apologize.  
  
"Why don't I stay here? That way if you have anymore nightmares I'll be here to wake you up. It's lucky I heard you earlier."  
  
I'm stunned at her offer. She volunteered to spend the rest of the night here with me knowing I'd just dreamed about killing her. She really does trust me. It's an amazing and humbling feeling. One I am seriously not used to. I try to give her an out. "If you're sure."  
  
She smiles at me and moves to pull the blanket down so she can get in and lie down with me. I quickly move over to give her some room. She snuggles in close to me. As I wrap an arm around her, being careful to keep it light, I promise myself I will never betray her trust in me. As I drift off I'm suddenly sure that any more dreams I have tonight will be pleasant ones, not nightmares. Not with her in my arms. 


	2. Shalimar's POV

Shalimar POV  
  
When I wake up hearing hear a noise coming from Brennan's room I feel an intense need to check on him. Especially with what he's been through the last few days. I know Jesse got by far the worst of it physically, but Brennan took some serious emotional damage from the drug. As a feral I tend to be nocturnal and to sleep lightly so I don't think anyone else would have heard anything. As I go into his room I hear my name.  
  
"Shal! Shal! Nooooooo!"  
  
The terror and pain in his voice are like nothing I've ever heard from him before and it scares me. He must be having a bad nightmare. Brennan usually seems so fearless. It's something we have in common. I start shaking him and trying to wake him up. "Brennan! Bren! Wake! Up!"  
  
It's a relief to see his eyes open and recognition and relief flash through them. Then he's pulling me into an intense hug. I wrap my arms around him and start to rub his back to try and calm him down. I also begin saying comforting nothings. I'm pretty sure he isn't really listening, but I think the sound of my voice might help. It's just a feeling, but I've learned to trust my instincts.  
  
After a few minutes, when he's calmer, I pull away. I'm pretty sure his dream was about the fight in the prison, so why did he say my name? "Brennan, what's wrong? What were you dreaming? About the fight? You said my name? Why?"  
  
"Yeah. But it wasn't Jesse I was fighting. It was you. I. . .I killed you, Shal. I couldn't stop myself and I killed you."  
  
I reach over and tip his chin up so he has to look me in the eyes. It just seems important, besides, I love looking into his deep brown eyes. "I'm OK. You didn't hurt me. It was a nightmare. After what they did to you. . . well, it's not surprising you'd have a few nightmares." I try to reassure him.  
  
I try to wrap my mind around the idea that his nightmare was fighting and killing me. To cover my reaction I stand up and go into his bathroom to get him some water. It gives me a minute to collect myself and he looked like he could use a drink. I sit back on the bed and hand him the water. My eyes are glued to his throat as I watch him swallow. I want to lean over and kiss him, but . . . not now.  
  
After a minute he leans over and puts the glass on the night stand. "Thanks."  
  
He's always so polite, such the gentleman. I can't help but smile. "You're welcome. Feel like talking now? It might help." I offer, though I admit to myself that it's mostly curiosity.  
  
"Well, I don't remember a lot of details about the fight, or the nightmare. Just that in the nightmare it was you in the cage with me, not Jesse. And there was not antidote and I killed you. It's a good thing you guys did come up with the antidote or I would have killed Jess for real. I still can't believe he's already forgiven me."  
  
"Jesse is very forgiving. And he knows that it was the drug, not you. So you two talked? You're OK?" I'd been worried about them They've had things strain their friendship in the past and I hope this won't make it worse.  
  
He nods. "Yeah. We talked and things are OK. I don't think either of us will be wanting to spar against the other for a while, but. . . I know this has to be harder on him. You saw the fight. It was a massacre. He was trying his best not to hurt me, while I was trying my hardest to hurt him. He wasn't using his ability to phase, or he could have knocked me out with one punch. I was using my power to hurt him every chance I got. Plus, he remembers it. I don't really, mostly just he damage on him, done by me, that I saw after, and. . .impressions, feelings. And he told me that I said some things to him, I got the impression they were not good things. Did he tell you what I said?"  
  
He's trying to be casual, but I can see that's it's important to him. "No. Sorry. I know it doesn't always seem like it, but in his own way Jess is almost as secretive about some things as you are. Give him some time."  
  
"Are *we* OK? I know you had to watch the fight, that had to be hard. Jesse's your oldest friend. Are you mad at me for hurting him? Are you scared of me now?"  
  
His questions take me completely by surprise. I move closer and take his hand, wanting to reassure him. "We're fine. I trust you. I always have, always will. It wasn't easy watching the fight, no. I mean, Jess is like my brother and I hate to see him hurt. But. . . well, it was really hard to watch you be hurt. To know what those bastards had done to you, and to see what Jesse was doing to you. If it had been anyone else I'd probably have jumped in the ring, given you the antidote, then hit them myself for hurting you like that. Not that you couldn't take care of yourself, I know you can, but you weren't yourself right then. You were out of control and could have killed them, and even if it had been a criminal, not Jesse, you aren't a killer and would never have forgiven yourself if you'd killed them."  
  
It *had* been hard to watch. Seeing the two men who mean the most to me, other than Adam, who I usually think of as my father, fight had driven home how different my feelings for them were. Jess is my oldest friend and brother, but Brennan. . . Well, I love him in a very different way. But now isn't the time for that. Still, even knowing that I lean in and kiss him.  
  
"Why don't you try and get some sleep. You're still exhausted. I can see it in your eyes."  
  
"Yeah. Some sleep sounds good. Thanks for waking me up from that nightmare. Sorry I woke you up."  
  
Seeing an opening I decide to take it. "Why don't I stay here? That way if you have anymore nightmares I'll be here to wake you up. It's lucky I heard you earlier." I tell myself that the last part is legitimate; that it was lucky I'd heard him. I really don't want him to have to suffer through another nightmare tonight and not have someone know and be there to wake him from it.  
  
"If you're sure."  
  
I smile at him to say that I am sure and move to pull the blanket away so I can get in and lie down. He moves over to make room for me, but I'd rather be close so I snuggle into him. I figure this is also the best way I have to reassure him that I still trust him, that nothing has changed. We've always been comfortable with each other on a physical level, not needing the ususal personal space. My reward is feeling his arm wrap around my waist. I can tell he's being sure to keep it light. He must really be worried that I might be scared of him now. That, and he knows I hate the feeling of being trapped. But I've never felt that way near him. I feel to tired to think about it anymore tonight and let myself go to sleep. 


	3. Adam's POV

A/N: I tried to post this chapter a couple weeks ago and wasn't able to, then real life got in the way. Sorry for the long delay. THANKS!!!! I've loved all the reviews on the first day I posted this, and the feedback on the format that I asked for. I thought a little bit about doing more, just not real seriously, but since you guys asked. . . Redhead, thanks for the idea of this chapter. I hadn't even considered Adam since there was no "opposite" point of view, but his side should be heard. Emma and Jesse POV on a talk they have will be the next two chapters, for the Bren/Shal fans I'll pick up with them the next morning. This "chapter" begins as Adam watches the fight in the prison.  
  
Adam POV  
  
I feel like I'm watching one of my worst nightmares come to life. Brennan using his powers to show off in front of a hundred people. And that's the *good* part. The bad part is he's using his powers to try and kill Jesse. If it isn't stopped it *will* destroy Mutant X. Once Brennan is given the antidote he'll never forgive himself, and I'm not sure if Emma could forgive him if he killed Jesse. He'd leave Sanctuary and Shalimar would almost certainly go with him.  
  
That is my nightmare. Mutant X destroyed from the inside. My children turned against each other. I've always known that if we were ever brought down it would be from the inside. With their differences it's always been them against the world, they all had a bond in common. It helped give four very different people a starting place for their friendships. Being different from everyone else was, is, something they all share.  
  
I know Jesse is fighting against the urge to use his powers, especially with the beating he's taking. I can't stop the feeling of pride that wells up in me at seeing that, or the pain at watching him be hurt. But I can't find any anger at Brennan. He isn't doing this by choice, he's been drugged, used. Brennan works hard for the level of self control required by his powers, and now they've taken that from him. That is an injury that might take longer to heal than Jesse's physical wounds. Not that Jesse get's off free of psychological pain. It has to be hard having your best friend attack you, even knowing he's been forced to it.  
  
I only hope we can get Jesse the antidote and end this soon. I really hate having to act like I'm enjoying this fight, but it's necessary to blend in with this crowd.  
  
LATER THAT NIGHT  
  
The "kids" are all tucked in. I almost laugh aloud to myself at the thought. The young men and women I work with are more than old enough to NOT need tucking in. At least they are all here and all alive. Today was a closer call than most, which is really saying something.  
  
My coffee has gotten cold. It's really to late to be drinking coffee, but I don't care tonight. My nightmare hadn't become reality. I don't want to fall asleep and see it come to life. There is one thing that will be nice to think about, the Dr. and Warden will be going to prison.  
  
I know I've made my mistakes, but to use prisoners as lab rats, then forcing them to fight so that they can get rich. . . I just might make time to attend that trial. At least I was genuinely trying to help the children at Genomax. I don't fool myself that all I did was good, but the intentions were never to use then for my own wealth. I was a lot less wise as to the nature of man, particularly one man; my friend Mason. Amazing how that old loss can still hurt. We were once friends, almost as close as Jesse and Brennan. I can only pray their friendship won't end as ours did. No, it won't. They are both good men, young, but learning fast. I think the hard lives they lived will keep them from the mistake I made. The mistake of allowing myself to be blind for to long.  
  
They'd laugh at me if they knew I was comparing their lives. They think they were so different from each other growing up. In a lot of ways they were, but that just meant things were hard for them in different ways. Brennan saw the raw life of the streets, Jesse the "nice on the surface, but all to often ugly underneath" world of higher society. In many ways it was likely easier for Brennan to find acceptance of his gifts than Jesse. In Jesse's world appearances and being normal were everything. I think that may be why Brennan seems more willing to "show off" with his powers than Jesse does. That and basic personality.  
  
I guess I'd better go at least try to sleep. Emma and Shalimar both get onto me if they think I'm not taking care of myself.  
  
A/N:  
  
Fiery Feral: Glad you like it. Thank you for the compliments, on this and on Home. More will be coming on that story.  
  
TML: Thanks for the opinion on the format. B/S do make a great couple.  
  
Redhead: Again, thanks for the idea to write Adam's POV and the encouragement. Thank you for the VERY kind words and the support for this format. It's nice to hear that I'm staying in character. I also get "Don't stop there" feelings on some of the episodes.  
  
Thir13en Ghosts: Thanks for the compliments. Glad you like getting both points of view on one event. I'll be back to that for the next two chapters, and then keep it going, promise.  
  
Thanks again to all. I'll probably wait and post the Emma/Jesse Chapters together, not one at a time. 


	4. Jesse's POV

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I know I keep changing the summary, the story keeps changing on me as it progresses. Not sure how much longer it will be, at least 4 more chapters, maybe 5. These two chapters take place EARLY the next morning. (The day after the guys get home.)  
  
Jesse POV  
  
"You're up early."  
  
I look up, surprised; I'd been so lost in my own thoughts I hadn't heard Emma come into the kitchen."Morning. I couldn't sleep. What are you dong up this early?"  
  
"Jess, you went though a lot the past few days. You're body needs rest. I'm sure Adam has something to help you sleep if you ask."  
  
It's nice that she cares, but at the moment. . . "Em, it's to early for a lecture. Have some coffee, or that tea you love."  
  
"Don't try to change the subject."  
  
"I'm not trying to change it, just postpone it to a sane hour." I try to explain, even though I really am trying to change it.  
  
"So you admit this is not a sane hour to be awake?"  
  
"I guess that explains why you're up." I tease her, hoping to get a smile. I love her smile, no matter what hour of the day it is.  
  
I watch her as she makes her tea. She doesn't have Shal's feline grace, but is graceful in her own way and it's nice to watch, to say the least. In a few minutes she sits across the table from me.  
  
"Jess, I don't have to use any psionic powers to know that what happened at the prison bothered you. Want to talk about it?"  
  
I appreciate her offer, but am not going to take her, or any of them, up on it, at least not yet. "Not really. I think I'd rather forget about it, but you know what they say happens to people who forget the past."  
  
"They are doomed to repeat it. Jess, I, . . . I can help make it "go away". I can get in your mind and dull the memory until it will just seem like a dream, well, a nightmare."  
  
That's a surprise. She's never mentioned that ability. "You can do that? Change peoples memories?"  
  
"I'm not sure I can "change" the memory, but I can make a memory more vivid and real or less real or even forgotten."  
  
"How do you know? You've done it before?" For some reason that thought makes me nervous. I can't put my finger on why, but the idea she's already used this power sends a chill though me. Maybe it's the worry and fear I see flash though her eyes.  
  
"Let's get back to the immediate problem. You, and what happened at the prison."  
  
Now she's changing the subject. I wonder why but decide not to push it. For now.  
  
"I didn't enjoy getting beaten up by my best friend, that's for sure. But I think what hurt worse were the things he said to me before the fight. I know it wasn't him talking, it was the drugs, just like the fight, but I still hear the words in my head. That it might be nice to forget," I admit to her. I've always loved how easy it is for me to talk with her, to share things with her.  
  
"I'm sure he didn't mean it. Like you said, it was the drug. He's your friend, so he knew where you were vulnerable and the drugs made him attack that. Verbally and physically."  
  
"Yeah. But we talked after. He basically said the opposite of what he'd said while under the drugs. I try to remember that." I explain, then stand up to get a drink and wince as my sore muscles protest. "Still hurting, huh? How about I give you a back rub?"  
  
My heart leaps at her offer. I know she's just making it as a friend, but the idea of getting a back rub from her is a VEERRRY pleasant one. It's an effort to keep my mind from playing things out further, but my sore body should help remind me why things need to end with a massage. . . today. "I'd like that. Thanks."  
  
"Let's go to your room. Hopefully once you relax you will be able to get some more rest."  
  
Since even walking to my room and lying on my bed hurts I can keep my mind from wandering to much. Though it's tested when she helps me take off my shirt so she can give me the back rub. I soon fell much better as she massages my back and find myself drifting off toward sleep. I try to fight it since I don't want to miss a minute of being this close to her but I don't think I'll last long before I fall asleep.  
  
Lgbabyblu: Now I have you hooked . . . evil smile !!! OK, kidding and (seriously) thank you. As for where the story is going, I'm afraid you'll have to wait and see.  
  
Redhead: Thank you, again, for the compliments! I'm glad you liked how I handled Adam. I'm having fun with the POV switches. Hope you like these chapters.  
  
Fiery Feral; Thanks for your "patience." And Glad you're liking the story. Here are the chapters. 


	5. Emma's POV

Emma POV  
  
I see a light on in the kitchen and sense it's Jesse. Maybe this is good. Give us a chance to talk without the others around.  
  
"You're up early." I comment as I walk in. Mostly to get his attention, since he's looks deep in thought.  
  
"Morning. I couldn't sleep. What are you dong up this early?"  
  
I'm not really surprised that his mind had trouble sleeping, but his body needs the rest. "Jess, you went though a lot the past few days. You're body needs rest. I'm sure Adam has something to help you sleep if you ask."  
  
"Em, it's to early for a lecture. Have some coffee, or that tea you love."  
  
"Don't try to change the subject." I warn him.  
  
"I'm not trying to change it, just postpone it to a sane hour."  
  
He just gave me the perfect opening the perfect opening. . . "So you admit this is not a sane hour to be awake?"  
  
"I guess that explains why you're up."  
  
I smile at his teasing then go make my tea. A few minutes later I have my tea done and sit across the table from him. "Jess, I don't have to use any psionic powers to know that what happened at the prison bothered you. Want to talk about it?" I offer.  
  
"Not really. I think I'd rather forget about it, but you know what they say happens to people who forget the past."  
  
Guilt stabs through me. I have made him forget the past. I had considered doing it again, but I can't do that to him again, it wasn't right then but we didn't have any time or choices. Now we have both. I answer him before he can get suspicious. "They are doomed to repeat it. Jess, I, . . . I can help make it "go away". I can get in your mind and dull the memory until it will just seem like a dream, well, a nightmare." There a compromise; a way to lessen his pain and not steal his memory, and this time it would be with his permission.  
  
"You can do that? Change peoples memories?"  
  
I almost want to lie, it would be easier. But I can't lie, not to Jess."I'm not sure I can "change" the memory, but I can make a memory more vivid and real or less real or even forgotten."  
  
"How do you know? You've done it before?"  
  
I hope he can't see the worry and fear I feel at his question. I wish I could get over my own guilt, but right now I need to worry about helping him. So, a change of subject. "Let's get back to the immediate problem. You, and what happened at the prison."  
  
"I didn't enjoy getting beaten up by my best friend, that's for sure. But I think what hurt worse were the things he said to me before the fight. I know it wasn't him talking, it was the drugs, just like the fight, but I still hear the words in my head. That it might be nice to forget."  
  
I try to reassure him. "I'm sure he didn't mean it. Like you said, it was the drug. He's your friend, so he knew where you were vulnerable and the drugs made him attack that. Verbally and physically."  
  
"Yeah. But we talked after. He basically said the opposite of what he'd said while under the drugs. I try to remember that."  
  
I watch as he stands up to get a drink and see him wince in pain; which gives me an idea of how I can help ease his pain without using my powers. It will also give me the perfect excuse to be close to him. "Still hurting, huh? How about I give you a back rub?"  
  
"I'd like that. Thanks."  
  
"Let's go to your room. Hopefully once you relax you will be able to get some more rest." I try not to think of other things we could do in his bed. Right now he's hurting and I don't even know if he'd want anything more from me. I know I'm attracted to him, but I'm not sure how he feels about me. I've thought, more than once, about using my powers to find out but I'm to scared to. I'm scared I'll find out he only thinks of me as a friend or sister; as long as I don't "read" him and don't know that I can still hope he might return my feelings.  
  
Once we're in his room I have to help him take his shirt off and my heart aches at the bruises I see. I can't really be mad at Brennan, and remind myself that the Dr and warden are the ones truely to blame, and focus my anger on them. I fell myself smile slightly as I fell Jesse relax then fall asleep, glad I could help him. Once I'm sure he's asleep I slide off the bed and go back to my own room. 


	6. Brennan's POV

A/N: Here are the next two chapters. Hope you like them. Next up will be a conversation between Jesse and Brennan. After that I think the story will be done unless anyone wants to review with an idea for what would be next. . .  
  
Brennan POV  
  
I'm I really awake or still dreaming? Is my first thought. Shalimar is tucked into my side with her head on my shoulder and my arm still around her. This is literally a dream come true. Suddenly my thought from last night returns, that I wold have pleasant dreams, not nightmares, with her sleeping in my arms. I was right. I'm almost scared to move and wake her up, so I settle for looking at her. It's rare, and therefore even better, to see her so at peace. She's usually so full of life and passion; one of the reason's I love her. Now I just have to figure out how to tell her that. It would be a lot easier if I knew how she felt about me. She must have felt my stare 'cause I see her eyelids slowly open.  
  
"What are you looking at?"  
  
The woman I love. I want to tell her that, but I give her another answer, that is also the truth. "The most beautiful woman in the world."  
  
"Right, bed head and all. Do we have to get up? 'Cause I don't want to move right now."  
  
"Sounds nice," I agree, since I don't want her to move either.  
  
"So no more nightmares last night I guess?"  
  
I hug her lightly before I answer. "No. No nightmares. Thanks to you."  
  
I expect the quiet, "You're welcome." Her turning her head slightly to give me a kiss on the cheek I don't expect, but do enjoy, even if it was only on the cheek. It's a start.  
  
"So you're feeling OK?"  
  
I hear the genuine concern in her voice and it touches me. Before I came to mutant X no one had been worried about me, about how I was, for a very long time. "Yeah, Shal. I'm fine. I just hope Jesse is." Before I can say more she speaks up.  
  
"Jesse is tough, Bren. I know it may not show as much, but he is. Dwelling on this isn't going to help him, or you."  
  
"Ya know, you're pretty smart." I tease her.  
  
"I know. Glad you finally realized it."  
  
I can't help but smile at our usual banter. That's another thing I love about her. No matter how I'm felling she can make me smile, make me feel better.  
  
We're interrupted by a knock on the door and Emma's voice. "Brennan, have you seen Shalimar, she's not in her . . . " Her voice trails off as she opens the door and see's Shalimar in the bed with me.  
  
"Room? No I"m in Brennan's." Shalimar notes unnecessarily in an amused tone of voice. "What's up?"  
  
"Uh, just wondering if you wanted to do some training in the dojo this morning. Why are you here? Is everything OK?"  
  
"Fine, I had a nightmare and came in here in case I had another one."  
  
"Oh, Ok, I'll see you two later."  
  
I hug Shalimar tighter as we watch the door close behind Emma. I'm curious and have to ask, "Why'd you lie to her?"  
  
"I wasn't sure if you'd want her knowing about your nightmare. She already knows I have them sometimes so she won't think anything of me having one. If you want I can explain to her. . ."  
  
"No. Thanks for covering. I'd really rather not have to answer a lot of questions about that nightmare." I really don't. Adam or Emma would be to quick to pick up on the fact that it meant I care more about the woman in my arms than I usually admit. Then the other part of what she said clicks. I lift her head slightly so I can look into her eyes. "Nightmares? What kind of nightmares? You've never said anything."  
  
"I really don't want to talk about them right now. Please?"  
  
Something about the look in her eyes tells me not to push this right now. I lean down and give her a gentle kiss, wanting to take the slightly haunted and sad look from here eyes. "OK. But if you ever do want to talk, I'm here. If you do have a nightmare and want to come in here, you know you can, right?"  
  
"Thanks. I guess we better get up. See you in the kitchen?"  
  
"Sure," I tell her as I watch her get out of bed and stretch. I already miss the feel of her against me. She looks back and smiles before going out the door.  
  
lgbabtblu: Since you asked for it the next two chapters will be Brennan and Jesse. I also thought they leave a lot of things unanswered in the episodes and am having fun writing my own answers; glad you like them. Thank you for reviewing the story. I will keep writing.  
  
Redhead: Your welcome, and thank you for the reviews and compliments. It's nice to hear I got their reactions and emotions right and made them believable. 


	7. Shalimar's POV

Shalimar POV  
  
I wake up to find Brennan staring at me. Not a bad way to start the day. "What are you looking at?"  
  
"The most beautiful woman in the world."  
  
"Right, bed head and all. Do we have to get up? 'Cause I don't want to move right now." I'm very comfortable in his arms, and love the feel of his body wrapped slightly around me. I could SOOOO get used to this.  
  
"Sounds nice."  
  
I sure he didn't have anymore nightmares, but ask anyway. "So no more nightmares last night I guess?"  
  
He hugs me closer before answering. "No. No nightmares. Thanks to you."  
  
"You're welcome," I tell him and turn my head slightly to give him a kiss on the cheek. I'm not sure why except that it feels right. "So you're feeling OK?"  
  
"Yeah, Shal. I'm fine. I just hope Jesse is."  
  
Before he can say more I speak up."Jesse is tough, Bren. I know it may not show as much, but he is. Dwelling on this isn't going to help him, or you."  
  
"Ya know, your pretty smart."  
  
"I know. Glad you finally realized it." I reply. Enjoying our normal banter. I glance up in time to see him smile. My heart skips beat, like it always does when he smiles.  
  
We're interrupted by a knock on the door and Emma's voice. "Brennan, have you seen Shalimar, she's not in her . . . " Her voice trails off as she opens the door and see's me in the bed with Brennan.  
  
I can't resist teasing Emma a little, "room? No I"m in Brennan's. What's up?"  
  
"Uh, just wondering if you wanted to do some training in the dojo this morning. Why are you here? Is everything OK?"  
  
I'm not sure if Bren wants to talk about his nightmare so I cover for him. "Fine, I had a nightmare and came in here in case I had another one." I've told her a little about my occasional nightmares so I know she won't question this story.  
  
"Oh, OK, I'll see you two later."  
  
He hugs me tighter as we watch the door close behind Emma.  
  
"Why'd you lie to her," he asks so I explain. "I wasn't sure if you'd want her knowing about your nightmare. She already knows I have them sometimes so she won't think anything of me having one. If you want I can explain to her. . ."  
  
"No. Thanks for covering. I'd really rather not have to answer a lot of questions about that nightmare. Nightmares? What kind of nightmares? You've never said anything."  
  
I feel so safe and at peace in Brennan's arms that I don't want to start talking about the hospital my parents put me in and what happened there. I want to enjoy this time with Bren. "I really don't want to talk about them right now. Please?"  
  
He lean's down and gives me a sweet kiss and, for now, it's enough.  
  
"OK. But if you ever do want to talk, I'm here. If you do have a nightmare and want to come in here, you know you can, right?"  
  
I'm thankful for the offer and decide I just might take him up on it next time I have a nightmare."Thanks. I guess we better get up. See you in the kitchen?" I don't want to leave, but know I should, before Adam or Jesse come looking.  
  
"Sure."  
  
I hear him answer as I get out of bed and stretch.  
  
I look back and smile at him before going out the door and heading for my room. I hope Brennan's nightmares don't last long. I feel better knowing that at least for one night I helped him hold them off. 


	8. Jesse's POV

A/N: Here are the last two chapters. I'm saying that they take place later that morning, not long before lunch time.  
  
Jesse POV  
  
I can't keep my body from tensing up as I hear the familiar steps coming down the hall. Brennan. My head knows it wasn't really him beating me, that it was the drug, but I guess my body still isn't convinced. I force myself to relax as he comes in the door.  
  
"Hey, man."  
  
"Hey. How are you felling?"  
  
I hear the concern in his voice and am glad to have my friend back, not the psychopath from the prison. "I'm feeling a little better today."  
  
"I was trying one of the meditations Emma showed me a while ago. I remembered a few things in better detail. I'm sorry. I'd threatened to kill you, and tried to, before we even got in the rings. And the stuff I said. I didn't mean it. It wasn't true. It wasn't. . . me."  
  
"I know. But it's kinda nice to hear. Thanks. The warden did get one thing right. He said we were friends, brothers. Brothers are supposed to give each other a hard time. That's what I meant earlier when I said that it was your job to give me a hard time. Brothers also watch out for each other, and forgive each other."  
  
"Thanks. . . brother."  
  
With him remembering things there's something I think we should talk about. "There is one thing. Did you remember what I first said when I came into that cell."  
  
"Uh, I think you were apologizing for not backing off from that guy. Why?"  
  
"'Cause I am sorry. If I hadn't let that guy get to me then you wouldn't have gotten in that fight and had them choose you." I explain to him. I really do feel a bit guilty about that.  
  
"It's not your fault. And if it hadn't been me they would have chosen someone else and then someone would have died that night, and they'd still be doing it."  
  
I hadn't really thought about it that way, but I see his point. "True. I guess you being drugged and me getting beaten up is a small price to pay to shut that whole fighting ring down. Its just to bad it wasn't in time to save your friend."  
  
"Yeah, it is. But at least you got me the antidote in time to keep me from killing you. I still can't believe how close it was. How out of control I was."  
  
I'd actually been thinking about that. "I'm not so sure you were. At least not until the end. If you'd really wanted to kill me you could have sent enough of a charge into me to kill me instead of just hurt me. For the first while, you weren't going for the kill."  
  
"I'll take your word for it. That part I still don't remember as well."  
  
"What was it like?" Seeing his look I push a little. "Come on, I'm curious." "It was like I couldn't think, only feel, and all I could feel was anger. I was acting on all my worst instincts and impulses. Everyone has a "good" side and a "bad" side. The drug suppressed the good side and amplified the bad."  
  
I decide to tease him a little. "So you really were your "evil twin", huh?"  
  
Brennan grins back at me as he agrees. "I guess so."  
  
"It's nice to have the real you back." I think I can deal with that. It might help to think of it that way. That it was his evil twin hurting me, not him. And now the evil twin is gone and Brennan is back.  
  
"It's good to be back. To be in control again. But now I have question. Why didn't you mass? You could have knocked me out with one hit to the head. Saved yourself a *lot* of pain."  
  
I kind of figured he might ask this so I'm ready to answer. "Yes, I would have knocked you out, and given you a concussion. With all those dugs in you I didn't want to take the chance of adding a head injury. No way to know how it would have affected you long term. Besides, you felt so confident that you spent time showing off for the crowd and taunting me. You were drawing out the fight and putting on a show. That meant more time to get you the antidote."  
  
We're interrupted by Adam's voice on calling for me to come to the medical area for a check up. He tells me tells me to bring Brennan along as well for a blood test. We both groan and head for medical.  
  
A/N  
  
Fiery Feral: I figured if Shal had nightmares that's what they would be about. Thanks for the compliment and reviews.  
  
Redhead: Thank you very much. The hesitation just seemed to fit for that point in the series. One of the reasons I love the show is the way the team is together, the feel, so I tried to get it in my stories, it's good to hear that I have.  
  
Lgbabyblu: Thanks again for the idea of Bren and Jesse chapters. With all that high tech mediacl stuff I'm thinking Adam can heal most serious injuries. Stories about "what happens after" are my favorite kind to write. Thanks for the compliments.  
  
Brigitta: Thank you! Glad you liked the Bren/Shal chapters (the two are sweet together and a great couple) and hope you enjoy these. 


	9. Brennan's POV

Brennan POV  
  
I see Jesse sitting at the computer as I walk into the room. "Hey, man."  
  
"Hey. How are you felling?" I ask, worried about him.  
  
"I'm feeling a little better today."  
  
I'm not real sure how to tell him what I have to say next, so I just say it and hope it comes out right, hope he'll believe me."I was trying one of the meditations Emma showed me a while ago. I. . . remembered a few things in better detail. I'm sorry. I'd threatened to kill you, and tried to, before we even got in the rings. And the stuff I said. I didn't mean it. It wasn't true. It wasn't. . . me."  
  
"I know. But it's kinda nice to hear. Thanks. The warden did get one thing right. He said we were friends, brothers. Brothers are supposed to give each other a hard time. That's what I meant earlier when I said that it was your job to give me a hard time. Brothers also watch out for each other, and forgive each other."  
  
I'm again stunned at his generous heart, and reminded why I'm lucky to have him as a friend, a brother. "Thanks. . . brother."  
  
"There is one thing. Did you remember what I first said when I came into that cell."  
  
I do vaguely remember it, but don't know why he'd bring it up."Uh, I think you were apologizing for not backing off from that guy. Why?"  
  
"'Cause I am sorry. If I hadn't let that guy get to me then you wouldn't have gotten in that fight and had them choose you."  
  
He has nothing to feel guilty about and I try to reassure him. "It's not your fault. And if it hadn't been me they would have chosen someone else and then someone would have died that night, and they'd still be doing it."  
  
"True. I guess you being drugged and me getting beaten up is a small price to pay to shut that whole fighting ring down. Its just to bad it wasn't in time to save your friend."  
  
"Yeah, it is. But at least you got me the antidote in time to keep me from killing you. I still can't believe how close it was. How out of control I was." The thought still scares me. Both that I came so close to killing my best friend and that I had no control over my actions. My power can be so destructive, and hurt the people around me so easily that I *have* to be in control of it. The thought of losing that control, of having it taken away, is one of the few things that can scare me.  
  
"I'm not so sure you were. At least not until the end. If you'd really wanted to kill me you could have sent enough of a charge into me to kill me instead of just hurt me. For the first while, you weren't going for the kill." He does have a point about the level of charge I used, and from what I do remember I suppose he's right, but that's not a part that's clear in my head. "I'll take your word for it. That part I still don't remember as well."  
  
"What was it like?"  
  
I'm surprised at his question and I guess it shows, because he pushes the issue.  
  
"Come on, I'm curious."  
  
I realize he won't let this go, so I try to explain. "It was like I couldn't think, only feel, and all I could feel was anger. I was acting on all my worst instincts and impulses. Everyone has a "good" side and a "bad" side. The drug suppressed the good side and amplified the bad."  
  
"So you really were your "evil twin", huh?"  
  
I'm glad he's comfortable enough around me still to tease me so I grin and answer. "I guess so."  
  
"It's nice to have the real you back."  
  
"It's good to be back. To be in control again." Since he asked a question I figure it's my turn to ask one that's been bothering me. "But know I have question. Why didn't you mass? You could have knocked me out with one hit to the head. Saved yourself a *lot* of pain."  
  
"Yes, I would have knocked you out, and given you a concussion. With all those drugs in you I didn't want to take the chance of adding a head injury. No way to know how it would have affected you long term. Besides, you felt so confident that you spent time showing off for the crowd and taunting me. You were drawing out the fight and putting on a show. That meant more time to get you the antidote."  
  
I hadn't even considered what the combination of drugs and a head injury could do. I'm lucky he did. Before I have a chance to answer we're interrupted by Adam's voice on calling for Jesse to come to the medical area for a check up. He tells him tells me to also bring me for another blood test. We do as we're told but only after groaning about it, literally. I almost laugh at our matching reactions.  
  
THE END  
  
A/N Thank you to everyone who read this story, and especially those who also reviewed. If anyone is interested I am working on a new one and also hope to get the sequel to "Home" up as soon as the new season starts, maybe earlier. 


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